Snippets of Life in Stark Tower
by Psyche333
Summary: It is as the title suggests, I am going to take funny little scenes from life within Stark Tower. This will include the Avengers as well as other characters that have been within the Marvel movies that may happen to visit the Tower. It will be full of crack :) Things like hair dye, missing food, legos, and perhaps the stray Loki will be used to make everyone crazy.
1. I Hate Cereal

Clint walks into one of the kitchens of the Tower to find Nat perched on the counter eating a bowl of cereal and Captain seated at the table eating a slice of apple pie while reading a book. He was in desperate need of a snack and his Chinese take-out from earlier that week would do nicely. He makes his way over to the fridge and rifles through it trying to find his box of Chinese take-out. What had once been all neatly ordered inside the fridge was left in shambles after he thoroughly looked through it for his box, which he did not find.

"Where's my fried rice?" He snaps up from his crouched position and swiftly turns around. Nat had disappeared, her bowl of cereal sitting where she had previously been, half full and still sloshing from side to side after being hastily sat down.

Clint sighs and glances at Steve. Without even glancing up from his book Steve says, "She ate it seven minutes before you came in." Barton glares at the bowl. He was feeling too lazy to actually make anything for himself and since the bowl was sitting there he came to a decision.

"Stupid…Should have hid it better…" he mumbles under his breath as he walks over to the bowl and picks it up. "You owe me Nat!" he yells before taking a bite of the cereal she had left behind. The soupy mixture swirls around mockingly in the bowl under his hateful glare.

A faint yell can be heard from deep within the tower, "I'll let you win our next match.'

Clint's glare that he is directing at the bowl only intensifies and he begins to mumble again. "I can win on my own…" Takes a bite. "I wanted fried rice." He takes another bite and chews angrily.


	2. Let Sleeping Hawks Lie

A low growl could be heard echoing through the lab. Tony sets down the wrench he had been using to work on his newest suit to instead hold his stomach. "Time to fill up the tank. What's the time Jarvis?" he says with a sigh.

"It is 3:47, sir."

"Awesome, tell someone to make me something. Oooh! Ooh! Ask Capsicle to make me a sandwich."

"3:47 a.m. Do you still wish for me to wake up Mr. Rogers?"

"…No…Dang it." He throws his head back in frustration and swipes a hand over his face leaving a long smear of grease on his cheek. "Is the Widow awake or Doc?"

"No, sir. Each went to bed several hours ago. Everyone, save yourself, are asleep."

"Fine, fine. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." He makes his way up to the nearest kitchen from his lab in the dark. The faint glow of the arc reactor isn't enough to light his way though.

"Ow! Damn it, who put a stool there!?"

After a few minutes of trekking through the darkness, resulting in a fair amount of bruises covering his shins and the furniture being roughly shoved out of his path, Tony finally makes it to a kitchen only a little worse for wear.

As he passes the cupboards he opens each of them searching for a bowl and glass which he eventually finds and sets on the counter without closing the doors, mumbling the entire time about what he was planning to make. "Eggs would probably be best. Fast. Easy. Just how I like it. Or maybe a cup of ramen…Do I even have any ramen?" His stomach growls again, cramping with hunger. With a grimace he clutches his stomach, "Shut up already. I'm going to feed you soon."

He wrenches open the door of the fridge, eyes quickly skimming over the contents until he spots the eggs and orange juice. Triumphantly smirking he grabs both objects of his desire but as he goes to bump the door of the fridge closed with his hip Tony absently glances up and gets a surprise.

"What the frickle fracke!" He falls back in shock, the eggs and juice go flying and make a mess all over the floor and on his clothes. Barton, who was perched atop the fridge with his eyes wide open, was sound asleep.

"What the heck, man!" Tony screams at the sleeping man.

With all the commotion Tony was making Clint wakes up blinking owlishly down at Tony while stifling a yawn. He extends his arms and arches his back to stretch his muscles that had cramped up from sitting on the appliance.

"Can I help you?" Barton says with grin.

"Fridge! Eyes! Why!" Tony flails his arms around, causing drops of juice and bits of eggs to go flying around the room then points accusatively at him with a glare. Barton jumps down from his roost and tries to avoid the majority of the mess. He wrinkles his nose at the filth on the floor and delicately steps over to the door.

"Because." Clint innocently looks over his shoulder at Tony and shrugs before he walks into the hallway.

"Argh!" Tony hollers as he flops onto his back making himself even dirtier, all thoughts of his meal completely forgotten.

Meanwhile Clint swaggers down the hall with a huge grin on his face. "Mission, successful."

**So what does everyone think? Should I continue adding little pieces of life in Stark Tower? Read it, love it, review pretty please! :)**


	3. Make It Red

"This is going to be good." Tony giggles as he pours the dye into the shampoo bottle. Before anyone wakes up he rushes out of the bathroom and goes to hide in his lair where he pulls up his camera feed to watch the show play out.

At 5:30 on the dot Steve sits up in his bed, tiredly running a hand through his hair making tufts stand at odd angles. With a sigh he swings his feet over the side of the mattress and stretches, a series of pops and cracks can be heard emanating from his spine. Tony wrinkles his nose at the sounds he hears from his monitor. "Come on, come on. Hurry up old man." He mutters under his breath, too excited to stand waiting any longer.

As if he had heard him, Steve stands up and slowly shuffles to the bathroom attached to his room. A few minutes later he comes back out with his hair all neat and workout clothes on.

"You've got to be kidding me." Tony deadpans as he bangs his head against his desk. "…Ow." He sits back up and tenderly rubs his, now, red forehead to look again at the screen to watch the Captain walk down the hallway to the gym. "Fine… I'll wait." He leans back in his chair, daintily crossing his legs, preparing himself for the wait. And boy does he wait and wait and wait.

After three hours, Steve finally leaves the gym, causing Tony to abruptly sit up in his chair that he had been sprawled in lazily spinning around in circles while eating a bag of chips. Wide eyes filled with anticipation watch the screen as his prey re-enters the bathroom. A giggle slips out as he watches, waiting with bated breath, hands unconsciously rubbing together.

A while later a yell echoes around the Tower as Steve shoots out of the bathroom, towel haphazardly wrapped around his waist and hair a bright, fire engine red. Everyone that was in the Tower trickle out from wherever they had been, confused about what the yell was about. Meanwhile, Tony is dying. He has fallen off of his chair from laughing so hard and is gasping for breath on the floor.

Upon seeing everyone, sans Tony of course, Steve blushes a red that almost matches his new hair color. He hurries to fix his towel trying to avoid looking at anyone. Everyone else present was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Clint was especially having a hard time. He was hanging onto Nat's shoulders, trying to keep from falling to the floor with his giggling. Nat on the other hand was doing her best to ignore the monkey clinging onto her while looking at Steve with a raised eyebrow/smirk combo. Poor Bruce was attempting to avoid eye contact with everyone, not really comfortable with the situation but unable to stop a small chuckle slip out.

"Who." Steve demanded, finally looking up at the others with a light blush dusting his cheeks. The three of them shake their heads and a dark look covers his face in realization as he mutters, "Tony." He quickly turns around, marching toward Tony's hideout, where the man was literally rolling on the floor laughing.

Steve stops in the doorway of the lab. "Stark." A deadly calm aura settles upon the room, but of course Stark doesn't notice nor really care. Instead Tony removes his arm from over his eyes and grins crookedly up at Captain, trying to stifle his giggles.

"'Sup Little Red Riding Hood. How's it hanging?"

"Why."

"Well it's simple really, you don't have nearly enough red on your suit and I thought I would help you with your fashion disaster. You should be thanking me Capsicle, you look fabulous now. Plus, I'm awesome."

Steve growls and walks away, grabbing at his hair. "I'll get you Stark."

"Pfft, yeah. And are you going to get my little dog too?" He says before another burst of laughter slips out.

Later that day Steve was glaring at his reflection in his bathroom mirror. He reaches up and tugs on a lock of his hair with a frown marring his face. "…He has a point…"

**Anyone else as excited for Age of Ultron? Suggestions for pranks or crack are always welcome :)**

**ErinKenobi2893: I'm glad you love it :3 I'll try to get in a few Merlin quotes, but first I have to brush up on Merlin. I haven't seen it in ages!**

**SpaniInquisition: Thanks :D I'll try to update quickly, but my dog hasn't recently killed my internet again so I may not get another snippet up till Monday. This one is being sent during one of my classes.**


	4. Loki's Cardboard Cutout

Once upon a time on an enchanting day in Stark Tower, where the pigeons were cooing and taxi drivers were screaming at other drivers, something magical happened. On this day, the Avengers were blessed with a marvelous gift. What is this stupendous gift you may be wondering? Why dear readers, it was none other than a marvelous, stupendous, drop-down-dead-sexy cardboard cutout of our dearly beloved Norse trickster god, Loki. Catch me, I'm swooning! Unfortunately, the Avengers don't find themselves as blessed as they should be after being graced by Loki's likeness. Let us, dear readers, take a look at how they take to Loki's 2-dimensional appearance.

First, we'll watch our dear Captain America, who is currently walking toward his favorite gym on the 43rd floor for another grueling workout session. He was busy humming the Polish Tango and tightening the bandages wrapped around his knuckles so that when he pushed open the door and looked up he yelped in surprise. Standing directly in front of him was none other than the god of fangirls himself with a cool smirk forever plastered on his cardboard face. The moment Steve's eyes meet Loki's vacant ones a showery dust of golden sparkles erupt around Loki's figure and it disappears. Instead of acknowledging what had just happened, our favorite Captain slowly backs out of the room, shuts the door and goes to his second favorite gym on the 37th floor which has just become his top favorite.

The next person that the majestic paper Loki decides to bless with its presence is the tin man himself. Tony was in his usual place, the lab, working on a doohickey that will help the watcha-ma-call-it. He stands up to grab his water bottle which had somehow magically travelled to the opposite end of the room. Lost in thought over his project, he accidently runs into someone.

"Sorry." He mumbles before looking up. Tony's eyes widen when he glances up and he lunges backward but a chair gets entangled in his legs making him fall to the floor. Tony scuttles backward, making a fabulous imitation of a drunk crab, trying to get distance between him and the Loki replica. "Frickle frackle! What the heck?!" he yells while pointing at the object that caused his surprise.

Without replying the cutout ignores him and silently vanishes in the blink of an eye. Tony gapes at the area where it had been, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

Without pause the cutout goes to its next victim, one Pepper Potts. She is in the kitchen making her breakfast. Her bagel had just gotten done and popped out of the toaster when she had turned toward the counter to pour herself a cup of coffee. She hears a sound behind her that she assumes is Tony crawling in for sustenance.

"Could you spread peanut butter on my bagel for me Tony?" Pepper asks without turning around. Pepper is greeted with silence.

"Tony?" She turns around clutching her coffee cup, bringing it to her lips for a sip. "Ah!" starteld, she jumps and drops her mug while simultaneously spilling some of the hot beverage on herself. "Ow ow!"

Carefully, scared to death, she creeps up to the menacing Loki. She holds her breath as she slowly extends a finger and pokes him. The cutout totters precariously for a moment before it falls backward. Coming to an abrupt assumption she clenches her fists and yells, "Tony! This is so not funny!" Pepper storms out of the room to change out of her soiled clothes and most likely to beat Tony about the head and shoulders.

Once she has left, the Loki replica melts into a puddle of golden slime and oozes through the tower till it comes to the shooting range where Clint is doing some target practice. Soft thumps from the arrows hitting their mark echo through the extensive room. In a flash of white light the cardboard cutout reshapes itself just to the left of where Barton was standing, but before it is even whole it is peppered with arrows. For a moment, just long enough for Clint to see whose smirking face he'd shot, the cutout stands there smug and proud, then it bursts into confetti and flutters out of the room. The arrows that had been impaling it fall to the ground with a clatter.

Last, but certainly not least, the cutout spots its final victim calmly meandering down the hallway to his room for a nap. The light from the hallway glints off Loki's flat face evilly as it becomes whole again, leaning out of an open doorway. Without notice Bruce walks past the cutout, completely oblivious, he had been up for two days straight working on the schematics of an idea that Tony had dreamed up and he was exhausted. Mad, the cutout pops into the next doorway, but to no avail as Banner walks past it again. In a flash of anger Loki's replica appears in front of the dear doctor but it is still ignored as he just shuffles around it without really seeing Loki.

A disgusted sigh could almost be heard as the majestic Loki cutout disappears, exiting the tower. We can only assume that it is going to travel the world to build up Loki's fangirl army to take over the universe. Anyone willing to join?


	5. God Bless America

"Wow Nat! This meal is really good." Steve says while trying to saw through the chicken breast on his plate. The others are gathered around the table, each in various states of misery as they attempt to eat the food Natasha had painstakingly made for them. Unfortunately, though she had tried to cook the food perfectly, it was… Shall we say, not perfect. The chicken had turned rubbery and the potatoes were just as watery as the gravy. She tried though and the Avengers loved it, but they would definitely not have her on cooking rotation anymore.

Clint nods along to what Steve said as he tries to get some potatoes on his fork only to have them slip through the tines.

"Could someone pepper my food for me." Tony mutters, distracted by images flitting across the screen propped up in front of him.

Nat rolls her eyes, "Tony, it is right in front of you."

"Hmm?" He glances up, "Oh." He grabs the shaker and after a brief pause, filled with glaring at the inedible food, he goes ham. Tiny pepper mountains take shape over his plate and flakes flutter over to Steve and Bruce who are sitting next to him.

"Tony! Stop it n-nnnn" a terrible itchy and tingly feeling starts to niggle and wiggle in the Captain's poor nose. His face scrunched up, it was inevitable, he just couldn't hold it in. "A-a-achoooooo!" The sneeze echoes around the dinner table where everyone sits and silently stares at Steve. "S-sorry, excuse me." The silent stares cause Steve's face to turn a bright tomato red.

Before Tony could think of an intelligent, or at least semi-intelligent comment, Banner steals everyone's attention. He slowly leans behind Tony toward Steve and whispers to him, "God. Bless. America."

Everyone's jaws drop, shocked at Bruce showing his sarcastic side so openly, except Tony who starts protesting, trying to steal the attention back for himself. "I was just about to say that!"

Steve gives him a droll look. "Thanks, definitely haven't heard that one before."

Chuckling, Barton claps Captain on the back, "Oh come on Cap, you have to admit, it was beautifully executed."

"Yeah." He cracks a small smile. "And thanks Banner."

"You're welcome," he says returning the smile.

"Eat up everyone! I even made desert."

All those gathered at the table try to hide their horror with forced excitement and pained yays that echo around the table. Nat tucks into her plate that had been cooked perfectly and slices into the tender piece of chicken. _Ha! It worked, no more cooking for me._ She grins evilly as she chews.


End file.
